Loving Owen: October 2014

It has been almost six months since I have posted a blog to this site. I guess that is what happens when you don't have the star of the blog filling your days with fodder for topics. At the end of August, we celebrated Owen's third birthday without him. It was also Pete's birthday and we have a four year old who loves to celebrate all events with as much grandeur as possible. This played out as a painful dynamic of acting joyful for Ellie as we made Pete his ice cream cake, enjoyed his birthday meal, and opened his presents, all while pushing back tears for the little boy who was missing from our table. A lighthearted, but temporarily frightening moment, came at the end of the day when we lit Owen's annual lantern and sent it up to Heaven for him to enjoy. On a day oppressive with humidity, Pete and I didn't think ahead about the science involved with these lanterns. That night, Owen's lantern barely cleared the roof of our house and landed high in a tree in our backyard, its full container of wax still ablaze. Thankfully, we did not burn down the neighborhood that evening. The next night we were able to get Owen's lantern all the way to Heaven for him, much to Ellie's relief.

Since August, we have been riding a fast approaching wave toward the anniversary of the day Owen died. Each week brings a new memory of the terrible events that took place last Fall. A year ago September, I completed a half marathon with Owen as my inspiration. The triumph and accomplishment I felt that day are forever tarnished when I look at my medal- the race was held exactly one month prior to the day I said my last good-bye to Owen. I had no idea what was looming so closely ahead as I competed in that race. Next came pneumonia, Owen's decision to stop eating, a referral to hospice, and the eventual realization that my baby boy was dying. It has been almost a year, but my grief is still consuming. Words could never express the pain involved in missing Owen.

And this is why I no longer write blog posts, it is just too painful.

Last Monday, Pete, Ellie, and I were invited to the Thom Pentucket Early Intervention office to participate in a dedication in honor of Owen. For two years, we received services for Owen through this organization. Owen received physical therapy, occupational therapy, and our family all benefited from counseling. Theresa, our family therapist, provided us with the language and support needed to help Ellie accept her terminally ill brother and grieve the loss of him last Fall. The goal of early intervention is to minimize the effects of medical and environmental risks. They also work to help recognize and diagnose disabilities and developmental delays. At age three, children enrolled in their programs graduate and move on to the public school system if needed.

Three times a week, Owen's dedicated therapists would come to our home, usually lugging supportive apparatuses and toys to engage Owen. They worked hard to keep him comfortable, engaged, and provided me with options and resources to help position and include Owen in our daily life as he grew from an infant into a toddler, without gaining milestones. I feel tremendous gratitude toward this organization and Owen's therapists for the help they provided our family. Theresa, Christine, and Lori became my friends and fell in love with Owen. It was an easy decision for our family to ask that money be donated in Owen's honor to Thom Pentuckt Early Intervention instead of sending flowers to our family at his funeral.

The dedication we attended last Monday was for a room at their office. What was once a therapy space/storage room for the miscellaneous mats and equipment needed to run this program, has now been transformed into a beautiful therapy room. It was named, Owen's Play Place, and is now being utilized as a meeting spot for therapists and the children they help. It provides new experiences, opportunities to be stimulated, and an engaging playground for children to explore. For parents, it provides a space outside of the home for their child to safely learn and engage in a positive environment. For our family, it is a wonderful tribute to our son.

The program was also able to purchase a walker to be loaned out to families for use. We hear it is in high demand and we are thrilled to help provide such an important piece of equipment. We were also able to donate Owen's wheelchair, stander, bath seat, and beanbag bed to the program, all of which are being used by other children. As we approach the one year anniversary of Owen's death, it is wonderful to know the positive impact his short life is making on so many other families in our community.